


Even Then, Even Now: Greetings

by silverdoll14



Series: Even Then, Even now... [1]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Drama, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 13:00:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4836326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdoll14/pseuds/silverdoll14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are greetings Sho and Jun share with different people. It is the same they share between the two of them. Through the years, those words mean the same, but also it doesn't. Sho realizes how much he loves Jun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweetspicyhot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetspicyhot/gifts).



It was one Wednesday evening when Sho had a real look at Jun. They were cramped in Jun's little bedroom with the owner busily answering his Math assignment. Sho was supposed to be following his every step, to check his logic in answering, and correct Jun if he made a mistake. But there Sho was, he was just staring intently at Jun's face with the latter not knowing anything.  
  
"Sho-kun, I don't understand this-,"  
  
Sho knew he startled Jun because the other wasn't able to finish his words after looking up and finding him staring. Sho still didn't back out and just smiled in embarrassment for being caught in the act. He did enjoy when he noticed a tinge of red in Jun's chubby cheeks even though the other was trying too hard to hide it by looking away. _Too cute!’_  
  
And that was when he lost it. He couldn't stop himself from tilting Jun's chin to face him, leaning in, and placing a kiss in Jun's unguarded lips. It was just a peck, a brush of his lips against Jun's in one second, but it felt like it was longer.  Sho wanted to try it again, yet he stopped himself.  
  
As Sho pulled away, Jun was blinking his eyes, confused, and still so cute when his whole face turned red.  
  
It took at least a full minute before it came to Sho what had happened, and particularly what  _he did_. He blushed instantly, looking away. He cleared his throat in embarrassment, trying to somehow salvage the situation, "Uhm, yeah. So what were you saying again?"  
  
Sho saw through the corner of his eyes when Jun tilted his head sideways before shrugging, repeating what he was asking.  
  
Sho then understood that he and Jun had a silent, but mutual agreement to leave that little incident  _behind_.


	2. OTSUKARE SAMA DESHITA

**"Thanks for the hard work."**  
  
**Everyone greeted each other when the rehearsal was wrapped. Sho had seen everyone moving, scrambling around the venue either to get ready to leave or to have last minute arrangements. There were four members of Arashi that were entering the green room in the venue already.**  
  
**Sho was last to enter, finding Nino and Ohno occupying the provided couch while Aiba was sitting by the table, drinking some water. Aiba was holding his phone, trying to send a message to someone. Sho would have asked where the youngest member was, but he remembered where they were and what they were doing, so his question would sound dumb to others. He opted on sitting opposite Aiba then, bringing with him a newspaper he spotted above the coffee table in front of the couch.**  
  
**After Sho sat down, Aiba was already standing up with a bag at hand. It looked like he was ready to go when Sho looked up, and Aiba had an apologetic smile directed to him. "Sorry, but I got to go now," he said before moving out of the green room with his phone against his ear. He did say his goodbyes towards Nino and Ohno along the way too. It did puzzle him why Aiba apologized to him. It wasn't like he was upset that Aiba had to leave just the moment when it seemed he settled in the room and just in front of Aiba. But then, Aiba was being Aiba, and simplest things like that would worry the lanky man from time to time.**  
  
**If Sho remembered correctly, Aiba had a location shoot scheduled soon, and that was probably the reason why he was hurrying to go. Others had more leisure in time, but it wouldn't take them an hour or so before they were ready to head out since Nino had an early schedule tomorrow, and Ohno needed to drop by the venue for his upcoming exhibit to check on things.**  
  
**"Riida, want a ride to the gallery?"**  
  
**Sho was right. They would be heading out soon when he heard Nino asking Ohno. He looked towards the couch, observing the two members still occupying it. Ohno replied a nod of affirmation, which became Nino's cue to gather all his belongings scattered around and put all of them inside his backpack. It was another ten minutes before the two were set to go, and Sho was silent the whole time, observing them.**  
  
**"How about you, Sho-chan?" Nino asked. He and Ohno were already halfway towards the door.**  
  
**Sho smiled meekly before responding, "I'll be heading out soon too."**  
  
**Nino raised an eyebrow at his answer, but he didn't comment anything. If there was anything even so, it would probably be with how Nino's eyes glint with mischief. In Sho’s opinion, that was saying something.**  
  
**Nino gave him a two-finger salute before hugging the unsuspecting leader from behind and putting his hands inside Ohno's jacket pockets. Ohno didn't show any complains though. He just smiled, mumbling a soft 'Bye' as Nino directed them out of the room. Sho shook his head with a smile of amusement towards his friends’ antics. No matter how old they became, it still felt like nothing had change.**  
  
**Now, the only ones left were him and Jun.**  
  
**It was quite convenient that the two of them didn't have any schedules ahead except for their late afternoon rehearsals tomorrow. It would give Jun more time to meet with the concert staffs for rearrangements and changes they could adapt for tomorrow's rehearsals while him... Well, it left him enough time to ponder by himself.**  
  
**It had been almost 16 years since Arashi was formed, and it still amazed Sho how involved Jun was when it comes to their concert production. The determination and passion were surging out of him. Thinking about it, those traits hadn’t really changed. Jun had always been passionate, even before...**  
  
  
  
The first time Sho met Jun in Aoyama Theater, he thought the younger male looked like an insect, so skinny and had a huge eyes, but Sho couldn't deny the determination and passion he saw in the other boy's eyes. And now, he had been a witness of how Jun put his 100% percent in everything he did. It may be in acting no matter how small his part was, in singing and dancing even if he was just a back-up for his seniors, or how he would bring himself in front of the crowd just so he could please everyone that had supported him even if he was still a nobody. Jun even considered not going to high school just to concentrate on giving entertainment, but Sho found himself disagreeing to that.  
  
"You better finish high school at least." Sho answered when Jun consulted him about it.  
  
"But Sho-kun... I don't want to trouble anyone with re-scheduling stuff when I need to attend class."  
  
Sho was taken back at Jun's answer, and he needed to check his temper before he raged out towards the younger male.  
  
"Am I troubling you when I need to attend my classes?" He asked with his tone in a danger zone.  
  
"No! Of course not," Jun instantly protested, almost knocking his drink in front of him. They were in the cafe, talking on things. It took almost two glasses of coke before Jun finally opened the topic why he asked Sho to come with him.  
  
Sho needed to make sure he had his temper on check because it seemed that Jun's words were ticking him off. Education would always be important, and he was sure staffs working with them knew that. Why would Jun think such a thing? He took a deep breath, trying to control his anger before continuing on.   
  
“Listen,” He started.  
  
It took them a couple of hours  _(and a lot of glasses of Coke that caused them quite a fare, making the two of them whine, “That’s a rip off!")_  before they could settle on an agreement. Sho was happy Jun heeded his advice, making him giddy for almost a week despite how work and school could get tough at times.  
  
“If you do well in school, I’ll give you the second button of my uniform when I graduate.” Sho promised one time when he was again in Jun’s cramped bedroom, sitting in Jun’s bed while he did his homework. Jun, on the other hand, was in his own desk, now looking to Sho.  
  
Sho thought Jun would protest because it was girls' stuff, but all he got was a toothy smile before Jun went back to answering his own assignment. Jun didn’t reply anything. It was only a smile, yet Sho felt it was enough to make him grin all night even if his assignments were hard to answer.   
  
Things were looking great since then. They debuted as members of Arashi, with great sales and exposure. Attending college was also exciting especially the fact that he would be attending a co-ed one. When he graduated, he did keep his promise to Jun, but it was made in a subtle  _yet cheeky_  way.  
  
When he was in Jun’s bedroom once again, Sho left the promised button in Jun’s drawer while Jun was fetching them some drinks from the kitchen. He attached a string to it just in case Jun wanted to put it as a charm or something.  _(It wasn’t that he was expecting Jun to be thrilled with the additional touch nonetheless.)_ It wasn’t clear though whether Jun did find it later on. For all he cares, Jun might have forgotten about that promise. Still, Sho felt proud because somehow it was like a secret symbol that Jun could always rely on him no matter what.   
  
Well, it was inevitable, to feel something like that right, to feel proud. Jun would often remind everyone that he was Sho’s biggest fan after all. As idiotic as it may seem, he couldn’t help but grin goofily every time Jun would narrate to anyone who was anybody how cool Sho was. May it be in radio shows, music shows, and even in their concerts in front of hundreds of fans. He really took pride on it, on the fact how Jun was dependable on him, even following him perhaps.  
  
But as time went by, Sho felt that it wasn’t like that anymore.    
  
Sho couldn’t really blame Jun though. Work and school had been too tough lately, and Sho did admit that he was mostly lashing out his frustrations to Jun. He felt as if everyone in the world was against him, and Jun was in the wrong place and at the wrong time. Sho felt sorry, yet Jun had nothing against him except understanding. No matter how mean he became at those times, Jun would just direct him a small smile while trying to give him space. However, Sho had seen the flash of hurt in Jun’s eyes when he ended up yelling at the younger male even if Jun would say that it was fine. Sho knew better, and that made him feel guiltier.  
  
Sho tried to brush it off, thinking that it was just a phase, and things would get better. They did in a way, but at the same time, they didn’t. Sho couldn’t point a finger at it, but there was something really wrong with how things had developed over months, over years.  
  
“It’s fine.” Jun reassured him before when he found himself saying his apology which was actually rare. For someone like him, it was hard. Maybe it was pretty hard for everything, but he was willing to try just for Jun because the younger male didn’t deserve his flare-up.  _No, he doesn’t deserve that._  
  
Sho thought that everything would be okay from that moment on. There were still the eat outs in some Italian restaurants whenever Jun waited for his class in Keio to end, the movies and shopping trips if their schedules allowed them too, and  the late night calls if Jun managed to grasp Sho in the middle of the night before he fell asleep over books or scripts. Sho still felt that there were changes, and the distance was becoming too apparent for Sho’s liking. He couldn’t really say something about it. It seemed Jun didn’t mind it either.  
  
Sho continued on, still trying to convince himself that it was for the better. Conversely, he couldn’t help to feel restless about it. Somehow, despite being in the same group, Sho felt Jun took another route rather than following him.  
  
He wasn’t one to be sentimental over things, but the moment Jun suddenly snapped at him did the trick.  
  
“Morning,” Sho greeted when Jun arrived, yet all he got was a blank stare. Sho’s heart skipped a beat, but it wasn’t because there were butterflies dancing in his tummy. Rather, he felt the coldness from how Jun responded back to him.   
  
Maybe Sho was exaggerating it. Jun was not a morning person after all. He was a frequent witness of it especially when they were roomed together in hotels, or when they stayed in each other’s houses. There were times when Jun did snap at those who woke him up in the wrong side of the bed, but it was never to Sho.   
  
Something in how Jun looked at him woke up Sho like a bucket of cold water would do. Somehow, he understood that the distance between them was too wide now. Sadly, he was too late to notice it.  
  
In retrospect, Sho and Jun still hung out as often as their schedules would allow them too. There were also the times when they were doing activities with all the Arashi members that allowed them to interact. It wasn’t the same though, but it wasn’t like it had to do with how their hangouts were getting rare. It was just a feeling, and maybe Sho was longing for something, but he didn’t really want to admit it.  _Like I said, I’m not sentimental._  
  
“We’re just growing up, Sho.” Nino said to him when he managed to talk it out with Nino. He was actually surprised that the younger male didn’t tease him about it, but he was thankful. There was no judgment, only honest words.  
  
Nino’s words were simple, but they brought a great impact to Sho. Growing up would always meant big changes after all, and Sho didn’t know how those changes would affect each one of them, especially him. Being worried was an understatement. He didn’t know how to actually face it at all.  
  
It wasn’t until the end of a concert rehearsal that Sho finally understood everything.   
  
It was getting late, and they should be heading home, yet Sho could feel that Jun was agitated. There were still parts of the concert that felt muddled, and Jun, who got himself more involved in production lately, couldn’t stay put.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I'm sure we can figure something tomorrow for that. We should be heading home now though," Sho tried to calm the other, persuading the younger male. Jun looked at him with hesitation, but did agree. Well, that was what Sho thought.  
  
They were already walking along the hallway that would lead them to the exit. At the end of it, a van was waiting for them, but then Jun suddenly stopped and turned to him.  
  
"You can go ahead, Sho-san. I need to talk first to the light director." Jun said with finality in his voice before walking the opposite direction Sho was taking.  
  
Sho was startled at first, but he managed to grab Jun's shoulder to stop him, "Ju-,"  
  
For some reason, Sho couldn't finish calling his name. When Jun looked back to Sho, he saw something in Jun’s eyes, and Sho realized that the younger male couldn't be persuaded to do otherwise.   
  
Maybe this was the  _growing up_  that Nino meant, after seeing Jun standing on his own ground, and Sho knew he couldn’t stop that. And so, he let go and smiled, "Matsumoto-san, thanks for the hard work."  
  
With all honesty, Sho had always been proud how Jun grew into a beautiful and wonderful adult all these years, but still it frightened Sho in ways he couldn't explain.   
  
When Jun looked back at him earlier, he couldn't finish calling out the name he used to call the youngest member, may it be _‘Macchan’_  or  _‘Jun-kun’_. He opted in using  _‘Matsumoto-san’_ because he didn't know anymore the man who was in front of him. Jun was Jun, but at the same time he wasn't, and it was confusing Sho. Maybe everything was happening so fast now, and he didn't know how to handle it.  _How do I approach him now?_  
  
And so, he continued walking away, on his way towards the van that would take him home, alone. He wasn't mad at Jun, no, he wasn't. He wasn't just ready yet with all the changes that he had been seeing.  
  
"Wait! Sho-kun! Wait!"  
  
Sho turned around at the call, and Jun was just a feet away from him already. He tilted his head sideways, his way of letting know the latter that he was listening. When Jun was an arm reach, he saw Jun smiling, and he found himself drawn by Jun's eyes because Sho finally saw again what he had been looking for all that time. It came to him that it was there all along. He had just been blind not to see it when he let doubts and confusion cloud his eyes.  
  
Jun put a hand on one of his shoulders, making Sho to look at that hand. How long had it been since Jun had been touchy to him like that again? But then it wasn’t really the case, right? The issue wasn’t with the way their interaction changed.  _It never was from the start._  
  
And then, he noticed the string bracelet that was hidden behind Jun’s wider bracelet. He couldn’t be mistaken by it, no matter how many years since he left that in Jun’s drawer. It was important after all. He just didn’t acknowledge how much it was ‘till now.  
  
When Sho looked up, Jun was leaning in to the point that Sho needed to cross his eyes just to see Jun's face properly. Well, somehow.  
  
"It's still me, Sho-san." Jun said to him softly before pulling back.  
  
Sho blinked his eyes a few times. He was still frozen when Jun patted his shoulder and said 'goodnight', followed by a soft 'take care in going home'.   
  
Sho finally figured it out, the thing that had been bothering him regarding  _these changes_.   
  
_“I have this image of you that you consider things by yourself and make decisions on your own, whether it was about work or school. So if I have a problem, I depend on you coz I want you to tell me how you think.”_  
  
  
Sho remembered Jun saying those words in one of their interviews, and somehow Sho had the image that Jun would always depend in him. Maybe he took it too seriously. He ended up thinking Jun would always be following him behind, but it shouldn’t be like that.   
  
Rather than following him, Jun had his own trail to make, a path to take where he could shine on his own. It wasn’t like they were wholly separated right? They could still walk side by side because Sho somehow knew that they had the same destination.  
  
Maybe it was Sho who needed to grow up because he was still stuck with his own little world, where Jun was in his back no matter what happens. It was selfish, but Sho finally understood that he needed to let go, to let go of those doubts and worries that had been bothering him.  
  
It was when Jun was walking back towards the opposite direction that Sho snapped out of it and smiled. What Jun said were simple words, just like what Nino said, and it brought ease to Sho's queasy feeling, and even in his heart. Those words helped Sho to fully understand that Jun would always be Jun as he would always be Sho. The Jun he thought that he didn't know anymore earlier was still the Jun he knew from his junior days. He might not be that same 'Macchan' or 'Jun-kun' that he was used too, still he would be that same Matsumoto Jun who he met back then with eyes full of passion and determination. Jun just grew up, and he should too.  
  
Sho knew Jun could still count on him. It might not be now, but later, definitely later on. They were heading the same way after all.   
  
Sho didn't know whether it was because he was extremely happy, or maybe it just felt right to stay behind with the younger male that he ran after Jun, startling the latter. “Yosh, let’s go.”  
  
Jun didn’t reply anything. He just smiled, but Sho was sure he saw the spark of gratefulness in Jun’s eyes.   
  
_Yes, this doesn’t change anything. Maybe it does, but it doesn’t really matter right?_  
  
That night, Sho didn't regret staying together with Jun a little longer to discuss further about their concerts, the set-up, and rearrangements. He didn't regret staying to give further suggestions to which Jun showed appreciation, because that night was the start where he finally understood everything. It was the start where he was really growing up. He didn't regret anything even now...  
  
  
  
**"Sho-kun... Sho-kun..."**  
  
**Sho finally stirred awake after some insistent shaking. When he opened his eyes, it was Jun's face that welcomed him. Sho then remembered reading some news about business and politics earlier. Noticing his position, he must have fallen asleep in the middle of it, his head in the table, and now Jun was mirroring his position with a small smile in his face.**  
  
**He sat up and stretched a bit to wake his senses up. "I guess I fell asleep." He mumbled with a yawn.**  
  
**"You could have headed home first, you know." Jun reminded with a gentle smile, standing up. Sho didn't reply though since it seemed he didn't need to. Silently, his eyes followed Jun who was heading to the provided bathroom in the greenroom.**  
  
**From where Sho was sitting, he could see how Jun was in front of the sink since the other left the door opened. He watched Jun taking his contacts off, blinking his eyes several times before wearing his black rimmed glasses in replacement. The sight was beautiful, but Sho didn't voice it out. He just kept staring as Jun fixed his bonnet in his head before leaving the bathroom. He saw how Jun put his things one by one inside his bag after fetching it, and when the younger glanced at him, Sho didn't flinch even if he knew he was caught in the act.**  
  
**"So, are you planning to stay here or you're going to treat me to an Italian restaurant?" Jun raised an eyebrow, a teasing tone coating his words.**  
  
**Sho grinned and got up. He got his items packed already prior to his impromptu little nap. He fetched his own bag and followed Jun in leaving the greenroom.**  
  
**"You're going to drive though." He grumbled when he met Jun by the doorway. He fetched his keys in his bag and then placed it in Jun’s awaiting hand with a squeeze. But then Sho saw something that made him hold Jun’s hand a little longer. The pause in his part made the other to follow where his gaze was.**  
  
**When Sho looked up, Jun was already looking away, tinge of red coloring his cheeks. Sho didn’t say anything, but he was beaming as he finally let Jun’s hand go.**  
  
**It was a nostalgic sight, seeing a worn-out string with a button as a charm in Jun’s wrist along the other bracelets. It brought warmth all over Sho.**  
  
**Before he stepped out of the room though, he grabbed Jun's shoulder to make the latter to look back to him. "Jun," he paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Matsumoto-san, thanks for the hard work."**  
  
**Jun was lost at first but when realization hit him, he chuckled at that. He replied happily with a bow, "Thanks for the hard work too."**  
  
**Sho grinned, turning off the light before closing the door of the green room. A happy chatter could be heard, and slowly, it faded away.**


	3. ITADAKIMASU - GOUCHOUSAMA DESHITA

**Rather than the Italian restaurant that was promised, Jun drove them into a restaurant that they frequented. Sho didn't complain at the sudden change in their destination. It was a restaurant that specialized in soba, and who was he to protest about that. Jun parked the car at the nearest available area they could find. They could only get an empty area two blocks away, so they needed to walk the rest of the way.**  
  
 **Side by side, they walked through the streets until they arrived at the restaurant.**  
  
 **“Welcome!” The waitress greeted them, blushing afterwards when she realized who the customers were.**  
  
 **“Good evening, table for two please... though we would appreciate it if we could get a private booth.” Sho smiled at her.**  
  
 **“A-ah! Yes! Please follow me as I direct you to your table.” The waitress said, stuttering a bit.  Sho looked back to his companion, who just shrugged, before the two of them followed behind the waitress.**  
  
 **When they finally settled at the room directed to them, the waitress left them to decide on their meal as another person was allotted to serve them. Sho probably knew the menu by heart since he only took out his laptop while Jun was still scanning the menu.**  
  
 **“Still the same?” Jun asked him. Sho only gave a nod, knowing what Jun meant.**  
  
 **After a moment, Jun relied to the waiter their orders, including Sho’s without even asking the older male. Behind his laptop screen, Sho smiled. It still amused him how Jun knew everything he wanted to eat even to the point of how much bits of green onions should be put in Sho’s soba sauce.**  
  
 **“You’re forgetting gyoza though.” Sho piped in, playful.**  
  
 **“That’s the first one I ordered, Sakurai-san.” Jun said with a smirk, making Sho chuckle.**  
  
 **When the orders were placed, and all that was left was waiting, Jun took out some notes from his bag, scribbling something on it. Sho looked over his laptop to have a glimpse, and it seemed those notes were from the meeting earlier.**  
  
 **“I thought everything was fine now?” Sho asked, quirking an eyebrow.**  
  
 **“Yeah, but there are still parts that I think we need to rearrange.” Jun replied, pouting his lips while thinking. Sho left it at that. Jun was Mr. Perfectionist after all.**  
  
 **Silent stretched between them, but it wasn’t awkward. Only the sound of scribbles against paper, and typing hands against keyboard were heard though. Then there were also the occasional sniffs from Sho.**  
  
 **“Have you got a medicine for it?” Jun said in the middle of the silence. When Sho looked up, Jun was still looking at his notes.**  
  
 **“Huh?”**  
  
 **“I said,” Jun started, his eyes finally leaving the notes to look at Sho, “If you already took a medicine for that?”**  
  
 **Sho blushed after being found out. It wasn’t really a big cold, so he didn’t pay attention to it at first. Thinking about it now, it seemed this thing he caught was getting worse.**  
  
 **“Well... I didn’t exactly think it would be this bad now.” Sho reasoned, but he only got a glare from Jun.**  
  
 **“I’ll take the medicine once I get home!” Sho swore, raising both his hands in mock surrender.**  
  
 **“Wait here...” Jun said, standing up. Before Sho could let out another word, Jun already left the room.**  
  
 **“Seriously...” Sho said, sighing. He wasn’t mad though. He somehow figured Jun would act like that once he knew something was up. To think that they said Sho was the worrywart in the group, Jun would actually be a lot worse. Well, it couldn’t be help. Jun was like that even then...**  
  
  
  
Sho always thought the title of being a worrywart would always be attached to him. As Nino would always put it, he was Arashi’s “MOTHER HEN”. It could be the case, but honestly he would prefer to be known as the worrywart father instead. With all the suits he had been wearing for News Zero lately, he would like to think that he was the hard working dad in the family that was Arashi.  
  
If there would be a mother-figure among members, he would peg their youngest member to fill that role. A mother always had the image of a great cook, and Jun was.  
  
He had been a witness to it ever since Jun attended those cooking lessons in preparation for his role as a chef in a drama. Since then Jun would always bring his homemade bento to work, and he would share it with the other members whenever they were gathered for activities as a group. It was different recipes day by day. Sho - who had always been the recipient of such bento - would like to think he was Jun’s appointed food tester from then on. Even though all he could actually say when it came to Jun’s cooking was MAXIMUM UMAII!  
  
Heck, Sho didn’t even think twice in accepting Jun’s offer to have dinner together when the latter promised he would be cooking instead of eating outside in some restaurant. Despite feeling under the weather that night, he was all smiles thinking what Jun could prepare for tonight. There was also the bubbling feeling of excitement of being able to hangout again which rarely happened lately due to their busy schedules.  
  
Sho thought Jun looked like he was waltzing around the kitchen as Sho observed him moving around. Even if Jun offered Sho the choice to sit tight in the couch while watching any movie in his collection, Sho politely declined it. He preferred sitting in front of the island counter and watch Jun doing his magic.  
  
Sho already felt dizzy from the start. There was also the high tendency of asking Jun if it was okay to sleep first in the sofa, yet the sight of Jun while cooking enthralled him, making him stay just so he could continue watching. Sho wouldn’t admit it, but it was more interesting than any movie in his opinion. Yet the most beautiful sight of the night happened when Jun laid out their food. There was a satisfied yet shy smile appearing in Jun’s face when Sho had nothing but praises about his seafood pasta. Sho also thought that a good food would help him feel better, but it was far from happening.  
  
Sho would have asked for a second serving because the pasta had the right amount of sweetness and spiciness that Sho loved, but then his headache wasn’t leaving him, and that wasn’t a good sign.  
  
“Is everything okay, Sho-san?” Jun asked worriedly.  
  
“Yeah, I think I just need to splash some water on my face,” Sho lied because he could feel bile rising from his throat, and that wasn’t really good. At some point, his eyes widened, scrambling to get immediately to the bathroom. Somehow, he managed to throw up in the toilet bowl before he could create a mess.  
  
Jun was already in his side the moment he emptied his stomach with his dinner, (probably his lunch too.) rubbing his back to soothe him.  
  
“S-sorry.”  Sho choked, flashing an apologetic smile towards the younger male because sadly, Jun’s seafood pasta that he ate was gone to waste.  
  
“You’re burning up, Sho-san,” was the only reply he got after feeling Jun’s cool hand in his forehead. Yeah, maybe he was feeling hot all over.  
  
“Sorry...” Sho repeated as Jun helped him up and directed him somewhere. It maybe the sickness that was clouding his vision, but the feel of mattress against his back confirmed that Jun probably brought him to a guest room.  
  
Sho’s consciousness was slipping in and out since then. He couldn’t really tell what happened next. All he could register was a damped cloth pressed against his skin, soft murmurs not far away, and a palm against his forehead from time to time. And then, there was Jun’s familiar strong yet sweet smell that relaxed him to his much deserved rest.  
  
The fresh smell of chicken soup woke him up the next day. Sho was groggy, but it was a lot better than before.  
  
When he opened his eyes, Jun was placing the tray with a bowl in the bedside table, sitting on a chair beside the bed.  
  
“Oh, glad you’re awake. How are you feeling, Sho-san?” Jun said, reaching out to Sho’s forehead to feel it. “Well, this is better.” Jun commented, satisfied with the result. “You better eat up, you need to drink your medicine later on, and then get a plenty of rest till tomorrow.” Jun remarked as he helped Sho to sit up so he could have his meal. Sho thought Jun would be placing the tray on his lap and let him eat it. Instead, Jun placed the tray on his own lap.  
  
“I can eat on my own, you know.” Sho chuckled, but it came weak.  
  
“Nah, I don’t want to risk you spilling on my bed so I’ll take this job.” Jun smiled, getting a spoonful of soup to feed Sho. It took a few seconds before Sho realized the implication in Jun’s words.  
  
“...y-your bed?” Sho blinked. “I thought I was in the guest room or something.” Sho added.  
  
“You’re sick, Sho-san. It’s better to let you sleep where I can actually see you. Now, say ah~” Jun deadpanned.  
  
Sho stayed silent, but he still obediently finished Jun’s soup, until another thought came to him, “Then where did you sleep?”  
  
Jun didn’t reply. Judging by the way Jun’s eyes keeps looking to the chair, Sho knew Jun slept in it to watch over him.  
  
“I’m sorry for imposing to you suddenly.” Sho said, guilty.  
  
“Hey, you don’t have to worry about it. Checking your schedule, with Kokuritsu, Beijing Olympics and all, it’s inevitable.” Jun said, “I’m glad I was able to take care of you.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
When he looked at Jun, the younger male was flustered, and instead stated, “I mean you’d do the same if you’re in my place.” Jun smiled, reassuring the older male. Sho nodded, quite happy.   
  
As scheduled, Sho took the medicine Jun provided after finishing his meal. Jun was helping him to lie down again and get comfortable when he said in an afterthought, “Well you could have just joined me in the bed you know. It’s your bed after all.” He didn’t know whether it was his imagination, but then he saw Jun’s face got redder. Sho didn’t comment on it anymore as Jun left to dispose the dishes in the sink.  
  
“Didn’t you have any schedule today?” Sho then asked, when Jun came back from the kitchen.   
  
Jun chuckled first before answering, “Yeap, you’re still sick.”   
  
From the bed, Sho had a questioning look towards to Jun, who was gazing back to him with glee while standing in the closet to get something. “You actually didn’t remember I have two days off.” Jun supplied.  
  
“Ah, yes...” Sho remembered, and then suddenly something came to his mind, “Oh damn!” Sho instantly sat up, but the abrupt action caused him getting dizzy, making him groan in pain.  
  
Jun clicked his tongue, but rather in irritation, Sho could see amusement in Jun’s face. The younger male approached him. Jun put the book he got in the bedside table, and then he helped Sho to lie down again before informing him, “I already called your manager about your condition. Your only schedule today was cancelled anyways, and your next work would likely be our filming for Shukudai-kun.” Jun paused, sitting down on his chair while grabbing his book. “Basically, your day off became same as mine.” Jun ended, opening his book to start reading it.  
  
Sho contemplated for awhile and then suggested, “Maybe I could go home now. I’m feeling better anyways.” When he looked towards the younger male, Jun’s eyes were piercing, making him to gulp his own saliva.  
  
“Firstly, I already called your mom, and she told me to take care of you because even if you’re old enough, it seemed you can’t take yourself well.” Jun said while emitting his Do-S aura. “Secondly, I am not going to let you, Sakurai Sho, out of this house till I’m sure you’re okay. So behave well.” Jun warned.  
  
“But-,” Sho couldn’t continue what he was going to say because seeing Jun’s eyebrow shooting up was scary right that moment. Sho might have even forgotten Jun was actually younger than him with how he nodded his head frantically.   
  
After awhile, Sho grinned as he just let it be. He said, “Hai~”   
  
Jun smirked in satisfaction before getting to what he was reading. Sho watched the other while reading since he wasn’t sleepy yet. When Jun looked back to him a moment later, he said, “Thank you.”  
  
Jun replied it with a grin before feigning seriousness and commanding, “Sleep.”  
  
Sho did obliged though, feeling overwhelmed with how he was taken good care by their worrywart Do-S banchou. It brought amazement to him, seeing the gap on how Jun could be inside and out.   
  
When you look at Jun at first, you would think he was cold and distant when he was actually warm and sensitive. Jun was a person who would satisfy everyone’s needs before attending to his.  
  
 _Just like a mother..._ Sho thought after awhile as he looked at the younger male when they were in the green room days after the incident. Jun - who probably felt someone was looking at him - raised an eyebrow in Sho’s direction since only him and Sho was in the green room that time.  
  
Sho shook his head, trying to cover his face with a newspaper to hide his blush. If Sho would be honest, he had been staring at Jun for quite a while already. He just didn’t say anything so that Jun would just let that episode go. But then Jun didn’t easily dismiss it because the other was already in front of Sho when the older male looked up. Sho would ask what the matter was, but Jun’s cool hand was placed in his forehead once again, and words were suddenly stuck in his throat.  
  
“You’re not sick, are you?” Jun reconfirmed, and Sho nodded at that.  
  
“Yeah, don’t worry. I have recovered already.” Sho reassured Jun.  _Thanks to you._ Sho would have added, but chose not to.  
  
“You sure?”  
  
Sho chuckled at Jun’s insistence, teasing him afterwards despite Jun looking at him intently, “Wait, aren’t I the worrywart in this group?”  
  
“I still have your medicine if you want.” Jun said instead. He was still serious about the matter.  
  
“Yeah, I’ll drink it later so you don’t have to worry.” Sho bribed then, and it worked somehow because Jun was smiling again before getting back to his seat.  
  
Sho continued to read his newspaper as they waited for the others to arrive. Despite concentrating his mind on the articles written in it, Sho couldn’t help but think about Jun’s hand against his forehead. It was cool, but Sho felt warmness spreading all throughout his body just like the previous days when Jun took care of him.  
  
Sho wanted to repay Jun’s utmost hospitality. If he could, he would have done so by cooking, but then he was terrible in the kitchen. His mother even gave up on him when he asked her if she could teach him any easy recipe. All he could do was treat Jun in a meal. That was why when a friend in common invited them into a party; Sho asked if they could go together. Since they still had time, Sho suggested eating first. Jun did agree, and Sho became excited because of that.  
  
Sho booked a restaurant he frequented because he wanted Jun to taste their soba. In the end, he ordered everything he found recommendable.  
  
“Whoa, this is plenty,” was Jun’s first comment when they arrived. It caused Sho to redden in embarrassment. Maybe he did get carried away.   
  
“You don’t really have to eat all,” Sho shyly said, still embarrassed. Jun just laughed at it.  
  
“I’ll partake!” Jun announced cheerfully after taking his chopsticks.  
  
“I’ll partake....” Sho said softly, observing Jun’s reaction to the food in their table first. He was only able to relax again after seeing Jun’s smile as he tried each dish. Following Jun’s satisfied grin, Sho thought maybe he did okay.  
  
Sho got worried again when they only have less than half an hour before the party, and the soba beside Jun was left barely untouched. He didn’t get the chance to ask the younger male though since they were hurrying to finish at least most of it.  
  
Somehow, that worry left an impression on Sho. He even mentioned it to one of his interviews unconsciously.  
  
“Well, I wanted MatsuJun to eat various menus I found recommendable so I got excited and ordered way too much.” He paused then laughed before continuing, “When it became like we had only fifteen minutes left until the part, we gulped down the last menu. I wanted him to eat soba the most.” He narrated and smiled, but there was sadness in his eyes. “I don’t think he remembers the taste of the soba, probably. I did it out of good intention but it turned out the opposite.” Sho regretted and hid it under a laugh.  
  
It was probably his over-thinking mind that made him feel like that because when the only ones left were him and Jun in the green room almost a week after that interview, the younger male talked about it casually.  
  
“I did love the food there.” Jun started when he was removing his contacts in order to put his glasses instead.  
  
“Huh?” Sho asked dumbfounded at first, halting himself in putting more things in his bag.  
  
“The food from the last time I mean.” Jun clarified, his smile getting bigger when he added, “I did love the soba the most.”   
  
It took time before it dawned to Sho what Jun was saying.  
  
“Ah... that... I...” Sho stuttered, not knowing how to react or what to say. He just continued packing his things while listening to Jun.  
  
“Next time, let’s go there and eat at our heart’s content.” Jun said causing another paused to what Sho was doing. When Sho looked up, Jun was smiling to him, and Sho smiled back.  
  
“Yeah, let’s do that.” Sho managed to say although he was still a bit in dazed.  
  
“Thanks for the hard work.” Jun said, ready to go.  
  
“Thanks for the hard work.” Sho greeted back, watching as Jun made his way out.   
  
Sho tilted his head sideways when Jun stopped before reaching the door, waiting if the other had anything more to say.   
  
“Thanks for the food.” Jun chirped before leaving, surprising Sho, but it was in a good way.  
  
Sho was once again in high spirits, especially when he found a magazine lying in the couch Jun previously occupied. It carried his latest interview, and Sho had a conclusion then.  
  
Yeah, Jun was a worrywart because he would make sure there won’t be misunderstandings, and everyone would be okay. Like Sho claimed earlier, Jun would try to attend to everyone’s needs even before thinking about his own, even now...  
  
  
  
 **Their food arrived already, but Jun hadn’t gone back yet. Sho grew worried and was about to call him when the said male finally arrived with sweat visible in his forehead.**  
  
 **“You okay?” Sho asked as he noticed Jun was out of breath.**  
  
 **“Yeah, I just went to find a pharmacy around.” Jun replied, drinking the water that was served to cool his drying throat.**  
  
 **“Eh?” Sho’s eyes widened and guilt started to loom on him. "You shouldn't have-" Sho didn't continue when Jun raised a hand.**  
  
 **"It's okay." Jun shrugged, "Let's eat."**  
  
 **Sho didn't protest anymore since his stomach did it for him when it made a sound, making the two of them to laugh.**  
  
 **"I'll partake!" They both said, and started eating.**  
  
 **Sho was enjoying too much as it seemed, because he kept on eating even if Jun wasn't anymore. Well, he was the bigger eater. It didn't help too since he would eat slowly while Jun would eat fast. Despite the duration of time Jun needed to wait, Sho didn't hear a single complaint. The younger man was even indulging Sho with stories.**  
  
 **It was getting late when Sho had enough, going to the bathroom first to pee, and then passing by the cashier to pay the bill before coming back to their booth.**  
  
 **When he was about to pay for it, the old lady in the cashier declined him, "Matsumoto-san already paid for it."**  
  
 **"Oh, really?" Sho asked and the old lady nodded. "Ah, thanks for the meal." He greeted then before coming back to the room.**  
  
 **"I thought I was paying?" Sho asked when he arrived, sitting back to his seat.**  
  
 **"Well, this isn't an Italian restaurant right?"**  
  
 **"But then it should be-," Sho wasn't able to continue anymore since Jun grabbed his hand the younger male could reach and put a tablet on his palm.**  
  
 **"Drink!" Jun cut in with a command, making Sho to look at his own palm. It was most likely the medicine Jun brought earlier.**  
  
 **"I'll partake." Sho teased as he popped the medicine in his mouth. He was really grateful for Jun's attentiveness.**  
  
 **They left the restaurant afterwards and walking towards Sho's car. This time, Sho volunteered to drive. "It's the least I can do." He reasoned, and Jun didn't protest, going around the car to sit at the passenger's seat while Sho took his seat as the driver.**  
  
 **It was when they were a couple blocks away when Sho noticed the closest pharmacy he could find from the restaurant. Judging from how far they had gotten, Jun would have run all the way to get back in time. No wonder Jun was out of breath when he came back, and Sho felt happy upon knowing how Jun took so much trouble in making sure he wouldn't get sick.**  
  
 **It was in a red light when Sho stopped the car. He took that moment to call Jun. When he got the younger male's attention, Sho would have said a simple 'thank you', but instead he said, "Thanks for the treat."**  
  
 **Jun's lips formed into a wide smile, chuckling a moment later. Whether Jun understood what made him said that, Jun didn't say anything. He just shrugged it off. Sho didn't say anything either. He just let the soft hum of the car's engine be the sound floating as they drove off.**


	4. ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU

**Sho drove them in a detour since repairs were made in their usual route, but then there was bender-blunder around the corner that caught them stuck momentarily in traffic.**  
  
 **“I can’t believe this.” Sho whined when they were asked to stop for the mean time. He was expecting a reply, but none came. When he looked at his side, he saw his companion was already sleeping.**  
  
 **Sho had a look of understanding. Their schedules were packed, and it must have taken a toll on Jun. They were already in the middle of rehearsals for their upcoming concert tour, and then Jun was also in the middle of preparation for his upcoming drama role. Despite all of it, Jun never showed being exhausted. If he could, he would even work with other matters just to make sure he could bring the best.**  
  
 ** _Quite admirable, but you work too hard._**  
  
 **After the realization of his thought hit him, Sho chuckled to himself. He was no better than Jun after all with both of them being workaholics.**  
  
 **He instantly covered his mouth when Jun stirred in his sleep. Thankfully, the younger male didn't wake up. Sho sighed in relief, noting to himself to be careful next time, so he won’t wake Jun up. He decided it was best to concentrate on the road instead, but as minutes ticked by, it was getting hard to do so. He was getting bored waiting for them to be allowed to move, and the only thing he could do was stare at Jun.**  
  
 **Jun had visibly grown. He wasn’t the skinny boy with big eyes anymore. Thinking back, he had known Jun for almost 19 years, over half his life. A lot of changes had happened since then, but Sho couldn't deny how Jun grew more handsome all those years. Seeing him like this, defenseless and gullible, Sho was enticed because despite the tough appearance and Do-S image, Jun's wonderful personality shined the best, even then...**  
  
  
  
It was a battle inside and Sho didn't know how to conclude it then. Jun was a colleague, a friend and someone special. Arashi was special to him after all, but was it the same type of 'special' for the rest of the members? If Sho would be completely frank, it wasn't.  
  
 _Is it love or like?_  
  
It was a question he asked Jun before, and yet here he was asking the same to himself. Somehow, Jun's voice would answer it for him as he remembered what the younger male answered that time.  
  
 _It's different 'cause we're both guys..._  
  
And like his reaction back then, he was actually pissed off. It wasn't with Jun though. It was only with himself.  
  
Maybe it was just admiration. After all, Jun's work ethics had always been commendable. Also Jun's consideration to those people around him wasn't something to be ignored too. It could be few of the reasons, but as days went by, it was getting hard to distinguish the difference between admiration and infatuation.  _Maybe it was love._  
  
Concentration was hard to achieve when he was in a room with Jun, and concert seasons were the hardest because he was mostly left alone with Jun unless they were discussing things with the staff or with the other members.  
  
Sho found himself looking at Jun more frequently. From the way he knitted his eyebrows when he was concentrating on something, when he would laugh whenever there was something funny, or when he would explain things so nothing will be misinterpreted, Sho relearned once again the different sides of Jun as time passed by.  
  
It was strange to say that he was  _re-learning_  everything about Jun because first of all, they didn't get separated and they had been colleagues, no, friends for years. Maybe the fact the he was seeing Jun in a different light would be appropriate to say.  
  
"Are you okay, Sho-san?"   
  
"Huh?" Sho was startled, and when it came to him that he was actually not paying attention, he shook his head and apologized, "Sorry. I totally spaced out."  
  
"We can continue this tomorrow if you like Sho-san..."  
  
Sho didn't know what came over him, but he cut Jun's words, correcting the latter, "Sho. Just Sho."  
  
Sho would have laugh at it because he knew he sounded childish, and Jun was visibly dumbfounded at his sudden request. Before he could put the two of them into a more embarrassing situation, he agreed, "You're right, let's just continue this tomorrow."  
  
"Yea..." A cough and then, "…Sho."  
  
Sho was grinning from ear to ear throughout the night as he repeated in his head how Jun said it.  _(And there was the image of Jun's blushing face stuck in his mind as a bonus.)_  
  
Sho then decided to let things flow on its own from now on because it was easier that way, there was no pressure or anything, just full enjoyment of the moment. Yes, Sho might be a freak when it came to schedules, but this was something special you didn't need to hurry.  
  
Maybe that was why it was easier for him that day when he was paired with Jun for a Non No photo shoot, and to think that the theme that was given to them was ‘Wedding no Arashi’.  _(And he'll have to thank Aiba for that.)_  
  
Of course, Sho had a good feeling about it, but there was awkwardness too. They were standing before the altar and looking like they were waiting for their unknown brides. From the looks of it, people might even think it was his and Jun's wedding. The sign board even said so. It didn't actually sound bad in Sho's opinion, but like he said earlier, he wanted to take things slowly.   
  
"Ah, there’s a pipe organ." Sho exclaimed as he noticed the said instrument when they were on standby.  
  
"Yeah.” Jun said, looking at it dreamily, and it gave Sho an idea.   
  
Wordlessly, Sho sat in front of the organ, opening its cover and feeling the ivory keys. He knew Jun’s eyes were following his every move. Even so, he didn’t feel nervous. Well, maybe he felt slightly uneasy.  _But this is for him right?_    
  
He took a deep breath and started playing. It was something he hadn’t play in awhile. Well, it had been years since he actually last played the piano like this. It was sloppy in all honesty, but for some reason, he didn’t felt ashamed at it because he knew he was playing it with his heart.   
  
Looking at Jun afterwards, Sho felt he had done enough, felt proud of himself because somehow his feelings managed to reach Jun. He didn’t know whether it was his mind that were playing tricks on him, but he could see unshed tears in Jun’s smiling eyes. It wasn’t clear though whether what those tears were for. Regardless of the thunders of claps he got from all the staffs present there, he only heard Jun’s words,  _“Thank you.”_  
  
Since then, he started playing piano again whenever he would think about Jun.   
  
Things had progressed smoothly from then on. If things had changed, it would be the fact that Sho became bolder in expressing his self especially when it was concerning Jun. Praises were easy for him to say because it was the truth. No matter what feelings that were involved, he would still say the same about Jun. He just didn’t know how much it affected the latter till Jun confronted him about it.  
  
They were once again left in Kokuritsu. Even if Jun had told him that he could go home already, Sho stayed behind.  _(Seeing Jun working hard was quite a treat frankly.)_  
  
“Want to eat out first?” Sho asked after volunteering to drive Jun home since he had brought his car. Jun was reluctant even when he was accepting the offer of a ride home. Now, Jun's silence to his question made Sho to shut up.  
  
“I guess not.” Sho murmured, quite disappointed. He could feel tension in the air, and he didn’t know whether he did something to upset the younger male or not. Silently like the atmosphere, he just drove.  
  
“Thanks for the hard work.” Sho greeted half-heartedly when they arrived at Jun’s apartment building. Somehow, that silent drive drained the energy from him.  _More like, Jun’s silence did it._  Yet Sho couldn’t say anything because he didn’t know what to say.   
  
Sho was expecting Jun to get out of his car quickly because from the looks of it, him and Jun being in the same space was suffocating the latter. That was why it came to him as a surprise when Jun asked him, “Come to the apartment with me.”  
  
Sho blinked, unsure whether he heard Jun right or not, but he didn’t protest at all. He just nodded, murmuring something about following later so he could park his car first. It was a relief because Jun had a small smile as a reply.  
  
Sho did park his car a block away. It was a great way to think things first, to calm himself down because truth to be told, he was really nervous right now. It wasn't everyday Jun would invite him so suddenly. It was also worrisome not knowing the reason why.  
  
Arriving in front of Jun’s apartment gave Sho quite a shiver. He couldn’t even knock the door to let the other know he arrived already. He just let his hand hang in there while he weighed up on things. Sho sighed in defeat. He wasn’t ready for what will happen next following his recent actions, and he vaguely had the idea that it may be the reason why Jun was careful around him recently. He only looked up when he heard the door opening, finding Jun in front of him.  
  
“You should have said something.” Jun said nervously, and Sho just gave a curt nod out of habit.  
  
Jun let him in, had him sit in the sofa before asking, “Do you want to eat anything? I only have leftovers from yesterday night.” Jun offered.  
  
Sho declined, not having an appetite for food. He also noticed how fidgety Jun was, with how the younger male bit down his lower lip, and how he couldn’t look straight to Sho’s eyes. It finally snapped Sho to do something, to reach out and grab Jun’s hands. He made the latter to sit in the sofa instead while he stood up and knelt in front of Jun, his eyes closed.  
  
Jun’s eyes widened, “S-Sho-san” Jun gasped.  
  
Sho chuckled after hearing Jun calling his name with the same honorifics once again.  _You’re stubborn as always._  
  
They stayed like that for a while. No one was moving. No one was talking. He needed to hear Jun’s calm breathing first before he could say something. It seemed Jun had another plans though because he was the first one to break their silence.  
  
“Tell me, Sho-san…” Jun started, making Sho to open his eyes and looked at Jun.  “Is something wrong with us?”  
  
Sho flinched at Jun’s question. It wasn’t something he was expecting for the other to ask him. And so he asked it back instead, “Do you think something is wrong with us, Jun?”  
  
Jun took a deep breath, before shaking his head. “I-,” He started, trying to find the words to explain but couldn’t.  
  
Sho was opening his mouth to say something else, but he too found himself speechless. He couldn’t utter a word.  
  
It was silence between them again afterwards, but unlike the silence in the car earlier, this was different. The tension was still there, but it was more relaxed. That was the time when something came up to Sho’s mind.  
  
“Come with me.” He said, alerting the other. Sho stood up, and pulled Jun with him. He didn’t even let Jun to get his own things. Just the apartment keys were needed.   
  
Sho was thankful he always had his keys in one key holder, had it strapped in one of his belt loops. There was one key in it that wasn’t really his. It was given to him by a friend who he had known even before, and conveniently, the key was for someplace close to Jun's pad.  
  
Under the streetlights, Sho and Jun were laughing as they ran. It wasn’t everyday two national idols would run like they were playing anyways. It may be the adrenaline, but it diffused completely the tensed atmosphere between them. They stopped in front of a music shop, trying to catch their breaths before the two of them have a proper look at where they were standing. Apparently, it was closed for the day.   
  
Sho could see confusion and disappointment mixed in Jun's face as he looked at the other, and it was only removed when he showed the spare key. Curiousness sparked in Jun's eyes as he watched Sho from the time he inserted the key to open the shop till they were inside.  
  
Jun was rooted in the middle of the shop, not knowing where to go since it was pretty dark, and Sho suddenly disappeared. There was only the streetlight outside as his only light to guide him, and he chose not to move so that he won’t bump into anything that may cause damage.  
  
Jun sighed in relief when a more secluded part of the shop was enlightened. From there, Sho was calling him to come there. Within the limited light, Jun went there while trying to avoid colliding into anything in the shop.  
  
"Whoa~" Jun gasped when he saw a grand piano with Sho already sitting in front of it.  
  
Sho patted the available space beside him for Jun to sit at. Jun complied with a shy smile.   
  
Jun looked around, trying to digest their surroundings. It was like this part of the shop was intended for those who wanted to play the piano hidden from prying eyes.   
  
“My friend since grade school inherited this shop from his father.” Sho started explaining, his fingers caressing the ivory keys like he always did before playing. “After school, I used to come here and hear his father play some songs.” He continued as he started playing a soft melody. “I guess from then on, my love for music started.” Sho said, smiling to Jun who was listening intently to him.  
  
“Since I started playing again, I usually came here to play sort of unannounced.” Sho paused again and then chuckled before continuing, “Since it’s becoming difficult to come here while the store is still open because of our schedules, my friend gave me a spare key so that I can come here whenever I feel like it.”  
  
It was silence once again except for the soft melody that Sho was playing. When it ended, he took a deep breath before looking at Jun. “Jun, listen...”   
  
Jun was looking back at Sho expectantly, and Sho couldn’t help but marveled right the moment. Before every ounce of his courage slipped off, he said, “They said I’m good with words because I’m a newscaster. But I honestly think I’m not...”   
  
Sho could see Jun was going to protest, but he shook his head to stop the latter. Jun got it and let him continue, “I’m not good with these things, but something is for sure and I want you to hear it now more than anything.”  
  
Sho pressed the keys at the start, and before he knew it, notes continued to flow out. Accompanied by those notes were his feelings, pouring out as he reminisced things that happened between them right from the start till this day. One by one, it flashed to Sho’s mind like a movie in rewind. There was the time when he met Jun for the first time, the time when he felt distance between them, the time when he felt overwhelmed with how Jun took care of him without second thoughts, till this day that he was letting all his feelings out in the open and for Jun to hear.  
  
Sho still thought this wasn’t enough as a confession. He imagined it would be something he had plan for months before the rightful day, yet here they were, unplanned and out of the blue. In a way, Sho still like it because the rawness of it somehow managed to make it more special. There were no extravagance and just wholesomeness.  
  
Music was something Sho was sure that he would do for the rest of his life. He could be the singer, the producer, or the composer. As long as it had to do with music then he was fine with it. He loved music after all. Maybe that was why it was easier for him to pour everything out, to say to Jun through the notes that...  _I love you, Jun._  
  
He had his eyes closed the entire time he played. He didn’t want to see yet what reaction Jun had. It didn’t matter whether it was good one or a bad one. He just didn’t want to know it till he was sure he had let it all out without restrains and reservations.   
  
 _Let me be the first one to say it. It might not be through words, but everything came from the bottom of my heart._  
  
When he pressed the last key, Sho finally let go the breath he had been holding before opening his eyes. He felt refreshed, but at the same time, there was the feeling of nervousness that crept back to his spine. It was getting a little harder to breathe since no words were coming from Jun.  
  
Then there were sniffs, and Sho instantly turned to his side to look at Jun, finding the younger male in tears, yet there was also a radiant smile.  
  
“Don’t look at me.” Jun warned after noticing that Sho was looking at him now. “I look like shit.” He grumbled, looking away before wiping his tears with the back of his hand.  
  
“Look at me.” Sho commanded, but Jun stubbornly refused to do so. Sho chuckled, yet he reached for Jun’s chin and made the younger male to look at him. Jun did comply, but his eyes were still looking at anything, but Sho.  
  
“Look at me.” Sho repeated, but still Jun didn’t obey. He smirked to himself before he put lips against Jun. Jun’s breathe hitched, his eyes instantly landing to Sho’s, yet he didn’t said anything.  
  
“I’m assuming it reached you?” Sho asked, soft and bouncy. He leaned his forehead against Jun, closing his eyes in the contact.   
  
It was a moment later he felt Jun nodding his head against his, “Thank you,” a paused and then, ...Sho.”  
  
Sho opened his eyes, seeing Jun, who had his eyes closed, blushing. He took that moment to steal another kiss, making the latter to open his eyes in an instant. Sho was expecting a smack in the head, or something yet all he got were a shy smile and a soft laugh.  
  
Sho was reminded of that time, that night when he was tutoring Jun in his assignments before. He remembered the urge of kissing Jun, the feeling of Jun’s lips against his, and how soft it was. He still had the image in mind when Jun blushed, even when he tried so hard to hide it. It felt like it was just yesterday even if years had passed already.   
  
Jun was looking at Sho with those same eyes, his cheeks still tainted with that same blush. Today though, there were stains of tears  _(and probably some snot too,)_ yet Sho found it still cute and more stunning than ever. He was looking at Jun after all, and he was indeed beautiful inside and out, even now...   
  
  
  
 **Sho had been watching Jun sleeping for quite a while. It was creepy, yes, but he didn’t mind. He couldn’t take his eyes off the latter until Jun stirred awake.**  
  
 **“Where are we?” Jun asked, and Sho acted like he was checking his phone.**  
  
 **“A few blocks away... I parked the car in the roadside to let you sleep longer.” Sho smiled before he started the engine again.**  
  
 **“Eh? You shouldn’t have...” Jun said. Guilt could be seen in his face.**  
  
 **“Nah, it’s okay. I was checking on things anyways.” Sho dismissed it and drove the car.**  
  
 **Sho stopped in front of the apartment building, looking afterwards at Jun who was unbuckling his seatbelt. Sho didn’t know what came over him, but he just had an urge to say it. "I remember it you know."**  
  
 **Jun stopped midway in opening the car door when he heard Sho’s whisper. Sho’s words earned his curiousness, making him to ask with a raised eyebrow, "Remember what?"**  
  
 **"The day I first kissed you," is Sho’s timid answer.**  
  
 **"Huh?"**  
  
 **Sho could see confusion in Jun’s eyes like he caught him unguarded, but it wasn’t like Jun was fully upset being caught in that situation. He just knew Jun didn't expect that he would say something like that all of a sudden. Without preamble, Sho grabbed Jun's hand and pulled the other into a kiss. It wasn't deep. It was just a chaste kiss like the first one they shared, but it left an everlasting feeling.**  
  
 **"Thank you." Sho said.**  
  
 **Jun didn't say anything in reply. He just beamed before getting off the car and heading to the apartment building. It seemed it was enough for Sho too. With one last glance towards Jun’s retreating figure, Sho finally drove away.**  
  
 **When he reached his destination, Sho finally shut the engine down with a smile. There was a building excitement in him as he reminisced how the past was.**  
  
 **After he got his things from the back seat of his car, he headed towards the apartment building. The parking lot was deserted, something he had expected knowing the time of the night. It took a half minute before the elevator dang and opened in front of him after he pressed the up button. He pressed the ‘16’ button once inside, and as the small screen counted the floor the elevator passed by, Sho kept shifting his weight between his feet.**  
  
 **"14... 15... 16." He counted in his mind. The elevator made a sound before opening its doors to let him out. Each of his steps felt light as he walked that if anyone passed by him by chance, they'd think he was skipping, or maybe he really was.**  
  
 ** _1604._  The number plate in the door said, and he felt happiness enveloping him because he was finally home.**  
  
 **He got his keys, opening the door with a click. It was fairly dark from where he was standing in the genkan, but instead of feeling lonely with all the emptiness the apartment showed, he felt just right and warm especially when someone greeted him.**  
  
 **"Welcome back,"**  
  
 **As Sho looked up ahead, he couldn't help but smile when another man emerged from the kitchen with a glass of water. Even then, and even now, his heart would still skip a beat upon seeing a smile was directed to him by that man.**  
  
 ** _"I’m home...”_**


	5. TADAIMA

**_"Welcome back!"_**  
  
 ** _"I’m home..."_**  
  
 **Sho replied with a smile, proceeding in changing his shoes to house slippers.**  
  
 **The other man in the house moved closer to the genkan, leaning his weight on the closest wall as he observed Sho, and then asked, "What took you so long?"**  
  
 **Sho had a mischievous smile as he heard the other man's query. When he stood straight up, he was met with a sight of a raised eyebrow under the other man’s black-rimmed glasses. Sho ignored it, and without a word, he came forward, trapping completely the other man between him and the wall.**  
  
 **"Missing me so soon..." Sho whispered before leaning in, and ghosting his lips against the other man's as he finished, "...Matsumoto Jun?"**  
  
 **Before Jun could even say another word, Sho kissed Jun properly, intruding his tongue in one go. Jun yelped in surprise, but the sudden aggressiveness in Sho's kiss seemed to be welcomed nonetheless. Sho pulled away a moment later, leaving Jun breathless, yet he kept on leaving chaste kisses in any part of Jun's face where Sho's lips could land on. He took the glass away from Jun's clammy hand, putting it in the nearest surface he could reach. Judging with how loosely Jun was holding it, it could fall down any moment. Jun flashed him a thankful smile.**  
  
 **Sho removed Jun’s black-rimmed glasses next because they were in the way. Aside from that, he wanted to see Jun’s beautiful eyes looking back at him, reflecting him. He cupped Jun's cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. His other hand was in Jun's waist, keeping them close to each other.**  
  
 **There were no words exchanged between them. Sho just held Jun's hand, guiding him towards the bedroom, and Jun just followed with no qualms or protests.**  
  
 **The moment they reached the bed, Sho sat down on it, his back against the headboard while pulling Jun to sit down in his lap. Still there were no objections coming from Jun’s mouth despite how uncomfortable it could be for the younger male. He only had his eyes closed as he waited, his body fully relaxed, and his breaths were calm.**  
  
 **Sho reached for Jun’s cheek again, before settling his hand in the junction connecting the neck and shoulder. He rubbed his thumb against Jun’s collarbone, earning a soft moan from Jun.**  
  
 **When Jun opened his eyes, Sho leaned in for a kiss. Their kisses were soft and unhurried, their hands finding themselves around each other, Jun’s around Sho’s shoulders, while Sho’s around Jun’s waist. It seemed no one wanted it in any other way. They were savoring each moment, trying to make it last.**  
  
 **It was when Sho settled his head against Jun's neck did he heard Jun's whisper, soft and delicate, “I love you, Sho.”**  
  
 **It maybe exaggeration to say that he was in verge of tears upon hearing it, but so much passion was overflowing with those words. Innocence and sincerity were meshed in just four words.**  
  
 **It was true that out of the two of them, Jun was more open with his emotions. When he was uncomfortable with something, it would show in his face. There were even times he would frankly say it out loud. But there were still the times when Jun would act numb with everything. No matter how tough things would get, he would face it with a straight face. He was Mr. Stoic after all. Maybe the fact that only to him did Jun showed such vulnerability made him more giddy and thankful at the same time because it meant that Jun trusted him, with all of his, his good and bad sides, his ups and downs. And it just made him to fall in love over and over again to the younger male, even then...**  
  
  
  
They were just entering the first months of their relationship. With all honesty, Sho was still reluctant with how everything went. Wasn’t it said that when you’re in a relationship, everything will drastically change?    
  
Yet there was none. Maybe they did spend a lot of time in each other's homes more frequently, except Sho thought it was something best of friends could also do. So that didn't count right?  
  
It wasn't like Sho was asking for something big. As said before, they were just starting, but for some reason, Sho was looking for something that would set them apart from how they were before when they weren't in the 'relationship' yet. Was it really too much to ask?   
  
Maybe that was the reason why he popped the question out of the blue when he was in Jun's apartment.  
  
"Should we move in together?"   
  
It was a simple question, but it carried a lot of weight than one could imagine. They were in the couch, a movie was playing in the screen, yet no one bothered to actually pay attention to it. Sho was researching about something in the internet and Jun was reading a book. When Sho asked the question, Jun was flustered, looking at him in disbelief.  
  
"Are you serious right now?" Jun asked, looking sharply at Sho. On the other hand, Sho was nonchalant like it was the most normal thing to ask.  _Wasn't it?_  They were a couple after all.  
  
Sho then had a second thought. Judging with how Jun reacted, it meant the younger male wasn't ready yet.  
  
"Sorry, I think-,"  
  
"I don't mind honestly." Jun cut him.   
  
When Sho looked at the younger male, Jun was contemplating as he put his book down. He sighed then looked back straight to Sho, "I wasn't really just expecting you're the one who's going to ask me." Jun stated. An easy smile was on his face.  
  
"Well..." Sho paused, looking away and lost in thought for a moment until he felt his arm being lifted and placed above the headrest of the sofa. Jun’s back was already against his side and Jun’s head was lying idly at Sho’s upper arm.  For a moment, Sho did feel that they were dating, that they were actually ‘exclusively dating’. He couldn’t help but grin, encircling his arm around Jun to pull him closer.  
  
“Well?” Jun asked as a follow-up and that snapped Sho back to the topic they were talking about.   
  
“I just thought it was probably the time to do so.”   
  
Jun hummed in response. Sho waited, unconsciously rubbing Jun’s upper arm with his hand.  
  
“I guess I could contact a friend of mine from a real state, and then we could decide from then on. What do you say?” Jun suggested.   
  
Sho was silent again, looking at his computer but not really seeing it. He was deep in thoughts, weighing whether to go for it, or retract what he said. Jun’s words didn’t exactly clarify whether he was excited for this or not. Still, it was worth the shot.  
  
“Yeah, I like the sound of that.” Sho agreed at the end. It couldn't be that bad right?  
  
Yet it was actually easier said than done. Aside from their busy schedules, it was hard to be together and not be seen. So how they managed to find a good place and furniture they both like was a miracle and a hard work. It took them time, and truthfully also a couple of petty fights.  
  
 _("You got to be kidding me? You want gray color for the kitchen?"_  
  
 _"Wait, why are we buying a lot of drawers?"_  
  
 _"Bookshelves again? I thought the ones we brought were already enough?_  
  
 _"Are we really going for black king size bed?")_  
  
None of it did actually turn into something serious because one knew how to succumb to the other's wishes. They compromised, met each other in middle like there was diplomacy between them. Sho thought it was enough to make this relationship work, it wasn’t really.  
  
Sho had been in his study room. With all the reports he need to look first before actually reporting it for News Zero, he needed silence as a companion in order to concentrate. But then...  
  
“Bang! Boom! Bang!”  
  
“What the-?”  
  
He instantly went out of his room frightened, thinking that something bad had happen. All he found though was Jun in the sofa, watching a sci-fi movie in the screen.  
  
“MATSUMOTO! WHAT THE HELL?” Sho yelled, not being able to control his temper.  
  
“Huh? What happened?” Jun asked, completely flabbergasted.  
  
From then on, words exchanged between escalated in a whole new different meaning, a different argument. It may be the exhaustion from their packed schedules that fogged up their minds they ended up saying things they didn’t meant... or maybe they just said what they have been keeping inside?  
  
“You don’t love me at all do you?!?” Jun said, tears already flowing out of his eyes.  
  
Sho’s eyes widened. He felt disbelief and disappointment, but worse of all, he felt hurt. “I can’t believe you!” He groaned and made a bee line towards the door, getting his keys, phone and wallet along the way.  
  
“See, you didn’t even say anything! You’ll just leave because there was no reason for you to stay!” Jun said, following suit. “Maybe you just went all out to me because you feel pity. You knew I was heads over heels over you! And you are just Mr. Nice-Guy Sakurai Sho to make my wishes come true.” Jun continued, exaggerating each word.  
  
Jun’s words were venomous in Sho’s ears, and Sho could feel tears prickling his eyes, threatening to fall every minute now. He just opened the door, and grumbled before closing it, “I’m leaving.”  
  
Sho didn’t know where his feet had taken him. He was in automatic and before he knew it, he was already in front of his friend’s music shop. He smiled bitterly upon remembering when he last brought Jun here. It was also the time when he confessed to Jun everything.   
  
“Might as well go inside,” He muttered to himself. He didn’t really have any place to go. Other members’ homes weren’t an option, and so did going to his parents’ house. He went inside with his spare key, and like he usually does, he went to the grand piano placed in the back part of the shop. He sat in front of it, caressing the ivory keys before pressing it. He had a melody playing at first, but it faded into silence because he couldn’t continue. Tears were already pouring out of him. He was too hurt with what Jun had said.  
  
Weren’t Sho’s intentions clear? Did Jun really believed that he was only there because of pity, out of obligation, and not because he really loved Jun? Of course, knowing Jun had loved him even before sent him happiness, except Jun believed that he didn’t love the latter back, and that hurt even more.  
  
Sho laid his head against the keyboard, pressing random keys as he let his mind wonder, and then it hit him.   
  
Sho remembered how Jun looked at him when he was leaving, the meaning hidden behind Jun's words, those pleading eyes behind those tears.  
  
 _Please, don’t leave me. Just tell me that you love me._  
  
“How could I miss that?” Sho growled, angry at his self. He was about to stand up and come back, but another thought came to him. “What will I tell him now?" He asked himself because truthfully, he didn’t know yet what words to say that will justify everything that was happening.  
  
He looked at the piano in front of him, blinking at it till he grabbed his phone. He was moving with his instinct now, with his heart. He dialed a familiar number and put it in speaker mode. It took a couple of rings before the call was answered. Sho had almost given up. Maybe, the other male needed more time.  
  
When the call got through, no one was speaking till, “Sho-san...”  
  
Sho flinched at how Jun addressed him. The quiver in Jun’s voice was evident and he didn’t really like that. It meant Jun was afraid of him, of what he could do.  
  
“Listen Jun... I-,” he paused again and Sho heard Jun’s sharp intake of breath.  
  
Sho took another deep breath, and then said, smiling, “Listen to this Jun... I told you before right, I’m not good with words when it comes to this... but I know one thing is for sure... so just listen okay...” He said.  
  
His hands were moving again, melody flowing out easily. It was like the time when he brought Jun here and confessed. Thinking back, Sho had insecurities and reservations that time, but he knew now, it was all different. There was only sincerity of his love and he wanted it to reach Jun clearly. His notes were definite, more passionate than ever. He wanted Jun to know that he had been in love with the younger male even before he actually realized it. Of course, there were always times when people will have doubts. The two of them would surely have those moments too, but he wanted Jun to come back to this time and remember that everything started with one thing,  _I love you, Jun. Don’t you ever forget that._  
  
Sho was breathless when he finished the piece. There were stains of tears in his face, but he had a smile. He looked at his phone, and was going to grab it when someone spoke.  
  
“Sho…”  
  
Sho thought it came from his phone’s speaker, but it was clearer from that. He looked to his side, and there was Jun, standing with his phone still glued to his ear. Jun was sweaty and out of breath. He probably ran to come there. There were also traces of tears in his cheeks, but he too had a small yet beautiful smile. He pocketed his phone and then reached his hand towards Sho, “Let’s go home.” He said.  
  
Sho took the hand, pulling Jun to him so that he could kiss the latter. Their kisses were sloppy, but they were full of smiles and laughter. Sho felt relieved. He knew they needed to work with their communication, but for now, they’d focus more on showing how important they were to each other.  
  
Jun waited as Sho locked the shop down. It was getting colder lately, and so he grabbed the younger male’s hand. Jun was shocked at first, his cheeks blushing, but he didn’t show any objection. Sho felt pecking Jun’s lips, and so he did, earning a grin from the latter.  
  
“Shall we go home?” Jun repeated, and Sho nodded as they walked back together.  
  
Thinking again, Sho had always been home. From the moment he fell in love with Jun back then, and even now...  
  
  
 **They were breathless from all those kisses they shared. As their hands roamed around each other, they couldn’t really get enough. It was to the point that clothes were discarded without a care, and all that mattered was they were in each other arms.**  
  
 **When Jun had settled his back against the headrest, Sho went lower, making sure he didn’t miss any spot to plant a kiss at. There was a kiss in Jun chest, a small bite by Jun’s tummy, a lick outlining Jun’s navel until he was facing Jun’s member. Sho looked towards the younger male who was looking back at him before breathing at it, taking a tentative lick that made Jun to whimper with want. He grabbed the base before taking it into his mouth. Jun bucked his hips at the contact, and Sho had to hold his hips down.**  
  
 **“Ah...” Jun moaned, and all the whimpers and moans Jun was releasing were doing nothing but to make Sho hard. He kissed Jun’s thigh as he motioned his hand up and down around Jun’s shaft.**  
  
 **“Sho...”**  
  
 **When Sho looked up, Jun was staring at him, flushed and panting. Sho moved up again, kissing the other, his hand still between them, pumping the other until Jun held it between his own hands. Sho stared at Jun, his eyes closely watching as the latter kissed his hand before licking each finger. Sho’s breathe was caught in between. It was a sensual sight. He ended up hiding his face in Jun’s shoulder, liking the musky scent it had.**  
  
 **“Take me...” Jun whispered to him, making Sho to pull back to have a proper look at Jun. Sho wasn’t one to be asked twice to do something, but there was something in that sight that was stopping him to comply.**  
  
 **Jun was naked and under him, yet he was glowing. He was beautiful, and sometimes Sho had doubts whether he was really allowed to have this man in his arms. But when Jun reached out to his face, wiping the sweat from his forehead before cupping his face while looking intently to him, Sho was reminded once again that Jun was giving his everything to him, to take care and to love.**  
  
 **“Take me…” Jun repeated, and rather than replying, Sho kissed Jun as he dragged his hand away from Jun’s grasp to reach for the lube and condom in the bedside drawer. Jun kept his hand though. When Sho pulled from the kiss to ask, Jun just shook his head.**  
  
 **“Just…” Jun let it hang in there, trusting Sho to understand what he wanted. Sho did, pecking Jun’s forehead as a confirmation before he positioned his self between Jun’s legs.**  
  
 **The moment he pushed himself in, he kissed Jun fully in the mouth, hoping that it could distract the other male from the pain. It still surprised Sho even now how tight it felt, but it was welcomed nonetheless as he held Jun closed, placing kisses his lips could reach all over Jun. They stayed liked that for awhile to allow Jun to adjust at Sho’s length. It was getting hard not to move though because Jun\s heat around him sent pleasure running all over his body, and the sounds Jun was making unconsciously wasn’t helping at all.**  
  
 **“Move...”  Jun whispered, hiding his face in Sho’s neck.**  
  
 **Sho complied, maneuvering their bodies so Jun’s back was lying in the bed again. He set his pace in a slow rhythm, gradually picking up when he felt Jun was arching his back, moaning his name along with huffs and pants. He angled his hips, successfully finding Jun’s spot when Jun’s grip tightened around his shoulders. His thrusts went deeper and harder as Jun’s legs wounded itself around his waist for leverage.**  
  
 **“Jun... Jun...” Sho panted, holding the younger male close. He was thrusting franticly, moving his free hand in the middle of their bodies to pump Jun’s neglected member. He knew they were nearing their completion and all Sho could do was held Jun so close to him because sometimes, he still couldn’t believe they were here now.**  
  
 **The sound of skin against skin, of moans and grunts resonated throughout the room. The mixture of musky scent of sweat and sex filled the air. Sho wouldn’t have it in any other way as long as he had Jun in his arms.**  
  
 **“I’m...” Jun started breathless, and Sho could just nod as a response. “Sho...” Jun moaned when he had his release. It took a few more thrusts before Sho followed, thrusting slowly to ride his orgasm.**  
  
 **Sho collapsed above Jun, breathless and sated. Still, Jun stayed still, welcoming the added weight no matter how much it actually was. In fact, Jun was rubbing Sho’s back while humming his satisfaction.**  
  
 **“I love you too...” Sho said before placing as kiss to Jun’s forehead, to each of his eyelids and till he reached Jun’s lips.**  
  
 **No matter how many times he kissed Jun, Sho wouldn’t get enough of how sweet it tasted, how fulfilling it felt, and how loved he had experienced every time Jun kisses him back. It wasn’t really just with the way Jun kisses him. It was with the way the younger male touches him, soft and delicate, because Sho felt he was treasured. It was also with the way Jun whispered his thoughts and dreams to no one other than Sho, telling him he was a big part of it. And then there was also the way Jun would look at Sho and no one else. Sho felt Jun’s world revolved around him same as Sho’s did around Jun.**  
  
 **Sho fell in love all over again.**  
  
 **They were catching their breaths, haziness in their eyes as Sho pulled out, yet something was unmistakable, and that was the contentment of being with each other. Sho brushed Jun’s fringe away, leaning in to plant a kiss. Jun closed his eyes the moment Sho’s lips made contact in his forehead, smiling gratefully.**  
  
 **“I’m home,” Sho whispered, his face lingering close to Jun’s face. Despite their position, Sho could see Jun opening his eyes in disbelief. When Sho pulled away so that he could see Jun’s face fully, the younger male gave a questioning stare.**  
  
 **“Should I be saying welcome back?” Jun panted.**  
  
 **Rather than replying, Sho pulled Jun to crash their lips in another kiss. The kiss went deeper as he held Jun’s nape, his other hand searching for Jun’s hand. When he found it, he held it close to his chest. Their mouths were dancing in the joint beat of their hearts. He moved their bodies to lie sideways, keeping them facing each other. When he pulled away, he rubbed Jun’s nape lovingly with his thumb while pressing gently his nose against the younger man’s.**  
  
 **Jun’s breathe was evening out, and so was his. He could see how Jun was trying to fight the sleepiness away, trying to maintain his eyes open. Sho took it as a cue to get up and fetch a wash cloth in their bathroom. He cleaned the two of them before joining Jun in the bed again. Now, they could sleep more comfortably without the sticky feeling of sweat and cum in the way.**  
  
 **The younger male had a thankful smile directed to Sho as he covered their bodies with their warm and cozy blanket. Sho just replied it with a playful nuzzle of his nose against Jun’s cheek, urging the other to sleep. Jun did fall asleep quickly, letting Sho to have a moment to be in awe at Jun’s blissful face before he too felt sleepy.**  
  
 ** _“I’m home…_ _”_  Sho repeated only in his mind. He knew Jun would laugh at him about the reason why he said that, but he really meant it. **  
  
 **It was just that wherever Jun was, that would be Sho’s home.**


	6. EPILOGUE

**The moment Sho woke up again, he was greeted with the sight of Jun's sleeping face. It was something he always looked forward to whenever he woke up first between the two of them, which was actually rare. It was still dark outside, and the moonlight was his only source of light, yet it was enough to see such a beautiful scene.**  
  
**They were not in the cliché position where either of them was spooning the other that was often shown in dramas or movies. Jun was lying on his stomach, while Sho was lying sideways. One thing might be cliché for couples, and that was Jun's possessive arm around Sho's waist. Still Sho wouldn't have it in any other way.**  
  
**Sho couldn't stop himself as his fingertips ghosted in Jun's biceps. The tingling feeling was probably enough to wake Jun up because when Sho looked back to Jun's face, Jun's eyes were already open.**  
  
**"Sorry, I woke you up." Sho said, sounding apologetic. Sho was quite aware that Jun was probably exhausted with all the activities they had been doing. Things were already packed up with all their schedules, and Jun deserved so much rest when he could, yet Sho ended up waking Jun accidentally.**  
  
**Jun only shook his head to dismiss Sho’s worry, wordlessly sitting up to adjust his body so he could lean his back on the headboard. Sho followed him, placing a kiss on Jun's shoulder before mirroring Jun's position. Gradually, Jun laid his head in Sho's sloping shoulders.**  
  
**Sho found himself playing with Jun's hand, tracing small circles in the younger male's palm. Jun's soft laughter erupted seconds later, followed by Sho’s chuckles.**  
  
**“Stop!” Jun protested half heartedly, trying to pull his hand back, but Sho just tightened his grip so Jun’s hand would stay between his. Naturally, they found themselves staring at each other again, smiles donning both their faces.**  
  
**“So, what’s with the little speech in the car?” Jun asked. With Jun’s tone, Sho could tell that Jun was still curious about what happened earlier when he dropped off the younger male at the entrance of the building before parking their car at the nearby parking lot.**  
  
**Sho felt Jun’s head against his shoulder again, possibly waiting for him to reply. Sho couldn’t reply instantly though. He was looking for the right words to say, but instead he went for something vague, “Nothing much… I just felt like it I guess.”**  
  
**Sho felt Jun’s head shifting, probably trying to look back at him again, but with his head above the younger male, Jun couldn’t.**  
  
**"I'm not entirely convinced though." Jun said. His tone was calm and dismissive. Sho figured Jun was letting him to choose whether to continue this conversation or start another one.**  
  
**"I'm just really thankful.” Sho started, earning a hum from Jun. “I guess I just realize that even then, that night when I first kissed you, I was already in love with you.”**  
  
**“Oh, with just one kiss?” Jun feigned a gasp, making Sho laugh again.**  
  
**“No! No! I mean-,” Sho said, and then paused. “Well, maybe?” He added as an afterthought.**  
  
**“You can’t be serious.” Jun retorted playfully.**  
  
**“I honestly don’t know.” It came as Sho’s honest reply. Sho contemplated for a while, carefully thinking about his next words to clearly describe how he felt back then when he started having thoughts about their past. Jun didn’t say anything either. He just let Sho to collect his thoughts.**  
  
**“I guess I still can’t believe that we are here now, together and all.” Sho confessed. Unconsciously, he held Jun’s hand tighter as he lifted it up to placed a kiss on it.**  
  
**They were silent for quite awhile before Jun finally spoke, "It's not really necessary to think about it, Sho." Jun said, making Sho lift his head to look Jun, who was now looking back at him.**  
  
**"What happened then, and what is happening now will always be important, and we just have to treasure those no matter what happens in the future." Jun said. His tone was light and serious at the same time.**  
  
**Sho kissed Jun’s forehead, earning another grin from the younger male while snuggling closer to him. Sho put an arm around Jun’s shoulder, placing his forehead against Jun’s forehead before they ended up in fits of soft laughter.**  
  
**The sun was rising in the east. It was a start of a new day and new beginnings, of opportunities and happenings. Still, Sho could only think of one thing.**  
  
**_Maybe even then, and even now, all I want is to have you by my side, probably for the rest of my life._**


End file.
